Saturday, February 6, 2010

Shots, Blood Work and Benchmarks

I remember a time not so long ago when "another round of shots" meant the party was just getting started, it was something you'd have to yell to the bartender across the bar and over loud forward 4 years...........nowadays when I say "another round of shots" I'm referring to Pegylated Interferon- the bartender has been replaced by a white coat pharmacist- shot glasses by a syringe. The one constant- Friday remains my favorite night of the week- even though I may not be painting the town red I feel great satisfaction knowing that I am proactively attacking this disease.

Another round of shots also means another injection, a few more days of mild side effects and blood work. The good news is- we've been going at this a month and my blood counts are all still in normal range! This is very encouraging- initially I was set to start at 180 microunits (an unrealistic dosage, since most patients can't tolerate this amount), then the dosage would drop to 90 and eventually to 45. My doctor has been quite flexible with me, since I am not officially enrolled in a clinical trial I am allowed to start my dosage at 90 microunits.

Luckily I hooked up with a pharmacy that specializes in cancer drugs- and man do they have service. For instance, even though the pharmacy is 20 km away from my house the pharmacy drops off the drugs at my door (30 minutes or its free?), another perk is that Roche- the manufacturer of Pegylated interferon only offers the drug in 180 microunit injections. The pharmacy splits the single syringe from Roche into two 90 microunit doses- thus saving me some serious $$$.

I do feel tired from time to time- this can also be due to my insufficient sleep (I find it nearly impossible to get to bed before 12:30- and I'm up again at 6am :S ) For the most part though- energy level is good I shot up on Friday night and on Saturday evening I attended a friend's b-day party, today I feel practically normal.

Well, I don't think you can ever feel totally normal when you are continuously medicated- but the CML'ers will get what I mean. When you live with a chronic illness you "learn" to gage yourself- you establish new benchmarks.........headaches that would once ruin your day are the new norm, those visual disturbances that would normally worry you- well it comes with the territory, the nausea that would once cause you to cancel your vacation- just pack some extra gravol, losing pigmentation- yeah....I know its no fun losing your color- but I mean you have leukemia, right?

I don't think patients realize how far they have strayed from their pre-CML health status. Sure, we try to eat better- sleep more, drink lots of water, exercise regularly- not stress on the small stuff........but imagine you did all these things- drug free!?!?! Imagine you did all these things with "flawless" DNA, marrow that controlled itself, white cells that would know when to stop dividing, a spleen that didn't feel enlarged and ankles that didn't swell up because of water retention.......

Think of what life would be like- you'd be able to go to work everyday and not worry about being canned because of your insurance costs, when you'd meet a member of the opposite sex that you are genuinely interested in you wouldn't have the burden of telling them you have chronic cancer, you'd be able to travel freely and not have to make note of the closest hospitals in new cities, if you have kids you wouldn't worry about not being around for them, if you don't have kids you wouldn't worry about not being able to have them- on the flip side you'd be missing out on a lot of cool all the great people you meet, being told Grapefruit is bad for you :P and having a connection with your body that few around you can comprehend.

In the end though, I wish two things for all CMLers:

1) you have became a better, stronger more enriched person for having this disease
2) you don't have this disease anymore

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